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energy level: (20 +/- 5) %
alright. depressed period over. thanks to all for the encouragement yeah. i really appreciate it. jazzspiration was fine. wasn't especially good, wasn't so bad. but the bad couldn't be heard by the audience so ok la im good ^^ but the j1 singers and drummers (heh) really need to pull up their socks. guitars and pianists are fine. in fact they're damn zai. yup so must improve, mustn't let them down. band today was fun. played a lot of awayday (guailan piece) and went through die fladermus (sp?) overture, which literally means the field mouse overture. straightforward and super fun piece. and we had more exco nominations today... im running for personnel! lol vote me if u want to see me become a no-life logistics slave for the rest of my band life ^^ last 2 weeks have been hectic. really hectic. this weekend looks to be promising too. today's already 3/4 over, tmr i have PW group meeting at sabby's house, and monday's my father's bday =) and next week we have 2 lecture tests. feels like im bouncing from one extreme to another. first chionging for concerts, now chionging for academia. ah well. jc life is short. keep reminding yourself that. make the most of it. ramblings of a fatigued mind.
got back home at 11.30..... jazz prac. lol too many late nights this week makes me caoji tired. im just going to type whatever pops into my mind. i hate wasting time. i wasted an hour waiting for my father today. then i wasted some more time waiting for my sister to finish playing dota -.- the game crashed halfway though. lol. last thursday RR wasted more than 4 hours of my time. and now what am i doing? wasting time blogging. i feel like a joker. i've missed my electone lessons for 2 weeks liao! cannot make it >< after this week i must piah my electone, studies and start training. i've got a lot to do. it's good to have a goal in mind. seems like i've been wandering for the past 4 years or so, not caring much about anything. now seems the time to really grow up and start thinking of the future. if not the far far future, at least til the end of the year. long term goals: do all tutorials a week in advance whenever possible. ie. weekends. play electone. 3 times a week. play drums. alot. whenever i can get my hands on it. pad everyday. do a good PW. be a good friend =) etc. ok im really rambling now. better go to bed tmr got PE, GP essay test and jazzpiration '06. feeling kind of lost now. don't blame people for not noticing - when i'm sad, i tend to keep it to myself. and i like to think that my face and mannerisms are unreadable.
how do i say this? something yinrui said today during band prac struck me kind of hard. "what are you in jc for?" it's a valid question. just what do i want to accomplish in jc? make lots of friends? score well so i can get into a good uni? well certainly both, yeah, but it seems like, lately, i've been failing in both. especially in the former. i've always considered myself somewhat of an introvert. sometimes, just standing in the MEP room or in the classroom, i find myself more alone than ever. maybe it's just me, maybe it's just how i'm feeling at that time, but really, it's demoralising. seeing how some people get along so well, and feeling sidelined. whatever self-pity. right now im thinking who i can actually count as a friend. i don't use the word "friend" lightly. maybe that's why i can count the number of friends i have on 2 hands. i seem to have difficulty making new friends. especially in jazz. and of the ppl i know, how many do i really know? how many can i really call "friend"? and i've yet to find a soulmate. by that i mean someone who's like me, who shares similar interests and has a similar personality. someone that can immediately understand whatever i say and whatever i do. the complement to me, if you want to put it that way. doesn't matter guy or girl. i have my good friends - zhu feng being the best, and one of the oldest - but personality wise, we're very different. i treasure him, of course. but at the same time, i wish i could find someone more like me. god, how do i say this without sounding selfish? im just really really lost now. listening to soulful music doesn't help lol. read soulful, not sad. i <3 the disney song Cold Enough to Snow sung by Jennifer Warnes. the guitar and sax parts are just very well arranged. i just need someone i can talk to. someone i can say anything to. someone who can understand it all. someone who'll just be there. yeah, even at 12.19am on the day of chem SPA. is it too much to ask? i hope not. dunno what to do now. kind of in a dilemma.... my xiaomei rekindled my hopes abit though. thx xiaomei =) im honoured to have you as my sister. but now it makes me even more confused.
how? i think i go play dota now. dota should clear my head. [backtrack 6 hours]
am in a liminal state of bliss now. i suspect it's leftover adrenaline from the night before. well probably that and my new drumsticks ^^ yup i'm starting to like them already. the definition was surprisingly good on the cymbals. and they're somehow smooth and silky to play. but my lao po still better la. quite a fun day. finally got to see and play the jazz pieces.... and i found that i could play half of them IMPROMPTU. ok im improving. oh yes and i got to play the drumset alot tonight. feeling happy now. thanks xiaomei. i owe you. on a side note: why? am i just unlucky. or is it just mei you yuan fen. nvm, hold that thought i just want to say, it's impossible to write PI in prose in 500 words. just. freaking. IMPOSSIBLE. and i think assignments like these just lose something when put into point form. stupid jai singh. i hate PI. i hate PW. i hate you. it's just so freaking stupid ><
but at least my PW group is fun. there is that. woke at 2 pm today. looks like i'll be sleeping at 3. such is my (weird) life. adios. it's been some bomb of a week... haven't had time to blog til today. every day come home too late and too tired to blog heh. ok im going to update for the entire week.
monday was kind of okay la. had nothing on today, but i knew that i would be busy later in the week (which i was, very) so i went home to do work. yeah knowing me, i didn't get much work done, but i did do my PI and some other work which i can't remember now. oh yes it was GP work i think. and i played a game of dota too i think. in retrospect i shouldn't have done that because i was starved for sleep from wednesday through friday. should have slept instead. tuesday tuesday was long day and 2.4... not bad, 12.23, not a particularly good score but a personal best for me =) we had maths "surprise" on the last period...... was tired already by then, so couldn't really think. i think i did okay but i screwed up some easy questions >< ah well. went home early to do GP again (sent muthu some pics), and ended up working on that til damn late. didn't get the chance to do tutorials. wednesday was piahing a bit of chem during physics and maths lectures. heh. meticulously erased the board during chem tutorial =) then as it turned out, we only had time to go through 1 question. so i didn't have to piah after all. =/ ms lee uttered a bad word in class! she called kenny a faggot cos he painted his nails red LOL. caoji funny. should have had a tape recorder on hand sigh. after lessons decided to pon the neil humphreys talk and stay in class to destress and play colours til 2.30, then went for band... quite fun, got new pieces. macchu picchu is caoji fun cos im playing the chimes part =) band dragged on longer than usual but i didn't mind. had time to kill before the guitar concert at 7.30 anyway. i think i should mention here that we (meaning my band, me huang lu adam jia hua and derrick) went thru a lot of anguish trying to find a place to prac for RR concert..... in retrospect though it was kinda silly. refer to friday's post for details. guitar concert rocked! thx for getting the flowers nana. i owe u $4. sat with the band ppl during the concert..... they played all the nice songs like the chrono cross song, streets of london, and how deep is your love. simple and nice songs. then because the songs were all 4/4 straight beats, and we were given lightsticks, i couldn't help backseat-conducting XD lol. kwt damn loser lol. air guitar FAILZ XD and i found out that getting flowers for guys is gay. whatever. after the concert we were crazy enough to stay back to prac in the MEP room. ended at 11.30 so took taxi home and got home at 12.20.... insanity heh. but it was necessary la. i lost half my lao po on wednesday..... i'm over it now but i really was damn sad that day. but i guess it's the price i have to pay for my deep attachment to my instrument. yup then after i got home i still had to go research for GP presentation. so i slept at 3 >< thursday found out that i researched the wrong part for presentation! haha. nvm la i spent only 30 min thereabouts only. anyway as it ended up we didn't present today. mervin's group TWT-ed very well (that's time wasting tactics for those not in the know). and their skit was very ego boosting for mervin lol. after school ended i ended up staying in school from 2 all the way to 7 -.- wtf la, stupid RR. rehearsal supposed to start at 5.15 started at 7. i should have just gone for my electone lesson and came at 7. would still have been on time lor. anyway in that time i managed to do phys tutorial and mug abit of econs. econs test rrgh. but during rehearsal the tech ppl shifted the mikes so we didn't get to rehearsal with vocals -.- lame la. finished at 9.40, hitched a ride with a RR guy to jalan jurong kechil and took 170 back from there. total waste of time. slept at 2. friday d-day! econs lecture test, NAPFA 5 stations, GP presentation (or so i thought), and RR performance. econs test bombed, NAPFA was good. this year is personal best year for me. but still failed because of standing broad jump. ah wells retake in july lor. should be able to get at least silver by then. yup. no GP presentation due to outdated school laptops. got to go off at 12 for more RR rehearsals...... this time everything was already set up so it went significantly faster. had a meaningful practice from 12-1. then we went for lunch and since i already ate, i went to find the class. found ppl in lt4 playing colours. played for a while before getting chased out by teachers. so we went to sit outside the MEP room. then some joker calls from INSIDE the MEP room asking where we were. yeah no prizes for guessing who. lol joker la weiliang. performance was fine, though we screwed up the ac/dc song. ah well. im just glad it's over and done with. 2 days of late nights and screwed up organisation makes me want never to hear the name RR again. went for jazz afterwards..... without boon around i actually got in some quality practice =) but towards the end i was literally falling asleep on the drumset. play play then suddenly my eyes start to close liao >< ggxx. after jazz we went for dinner, talked cock with adam yi zhe zhao han and chearmaine (sp.?) before going home. on the way home i fell asleep on the bus lol. so ended up on bukit timah road. took 170 back home again. that's about it. i took about 1 1/2 hours to pen this whole thing down. kudos to those ppl who actually took the time to read to this pt. come ask me for lemon tea or something and if im in a good mood i'll treat u =) tmr i have band again in the morning, then i have to get new sticks later in the afternoon. nighttime we're going to go airport to pick my grandmother up. so much for sleep >< im half-dead now. the week's fatigue starting to pile up alr. must sleep. incidentally, a dream of mine just got shattered. or at least i think it did. unless i was really wrong about it. next time i should really think things through before committing myself to any dream. yup something to muse about in your spare time. now i really KO alr. cya clear skies, beautiful weather. counted 9 stars in the sky back home in bukit panjang, and a full yellow moon in sengkang. a great ending to a great day.
the day started off happily enough with band prac, which is always fun. got a couple of new pieces including awayday (joker score), moonlight kung fu (LOL), and the soundtrack from gladiators. spent most of the time talking to ppl and sleeping in the band room lol. went outside to practice abit of double and triple strokes as well. i think im improving ^^ and it's adriel's and zhu feng's bdays today! haha happy birthday to you both. lingzi claims that she and adriel have no plans for today but well, who believes them? =) yup. after band was BM/DBM elections. voted hanxin and mervin for BM/DBM respectively. i think they got in by a landslide. let's see how mervin performs as DB heh. hope he doesn't joke around too much.... but he's capable la. wah now his resume will look super good sia. class chair + db. damn. jealous liao. ate pasta with the band pplz sans the guys cos they were playing soccer. i pangseh soccer for once heh. election speeches ended so late and i was so hungry..... plus i was late for practice session with adam and huang lu. talked on the way and found out that the rg band ppl knew my name all the back since sec2 -.- and found out that jia ying and en yi were in the band room with emm that day when i returned the rg snare to them back in sec3/4 =) heh and wanxian was the one i asked for directions to the band room that day. lol remembering that day and adding in the ppl... it's like revisiting the same scene again but with the gaps filled in. quite cool. yup after that it was off to potong pasir to find adam and huang lu... i was 2 hrs late and i came just in time for the last 5 minutes >< but oh well, we got the acdc song down. was a pleasant surprise to find derrick there as well. after the prac we went to the coffeeshop next door to wait for adam and huang lu to eat. talked a lot of cock, discussed music cca leaderships and the merits of sweet potatoes (without which there wouldn't be vodka!), made fun of the bassist, and exchanged musician jokes (guitar chord: Fminormajor9. oO?), including faerie's air and death waltz. then walking back to the MRT station i got suanned by the 3 of them when they started inviting me to play techno -.- pls. never mention techno in front of a drummer. they mentioned how they were improvising blues too, before i came. derrick super pro. improvised singing + lyrics oO including stuff like "my wife died yesterday..... my doggy did too, but at least i still have my guitar" and "i have nothing to be sad about, but im sad anyway" XD lmao throughout. and finally....... we went to visit yinrui! hahaha and celebrated zhu's birthday as well. met at sengkang mrt around 6+ and went to supermarket to get fruits....... heh had a fun time piling and arranging apples oranges and a bunch of bananas. heh. was already laughing then... laughed a lot more later. when we got to the void deck under yinrui's house, we got zhu feng to write on the get well soon card. but he had a mental blackout and couldn't think of anything to write. so eventually i got impatient and went to lie down on the curved arch. when he still didn't write i told him i'll sing random songs until he finished his love letter. well i did, and apparently so did he ^^ cos yinrui refused to let me read it later, claiming it really was a love letter. gj zhu ^^ yup so when we got there yinrui refused to let us into her room....... claiming it was too messy. haha but she relented later lar. presented zhu with his presents (5 cds! woot) and card, and sang happy bday song. dinner on yinrui's parents =) yay they rock. and yinrui's mom cooked the shanghainese (right?) nian gao which was something like a chee cheong fun but stickier, with veggies, meat and mushrooms in it. caoji nice =) nana got her soya bean too. but she couldn't eat most of the food =/ ah well. give and take heh. then we went back to yinrui's room and talked a lot of nonsense, competed to see whose songs zhu feng liked better, watched the people downstairs linedancing, discussed sch teachers, looked at blogskins for our batch blog, and fought over a stuffed watermelon XD yinrui's mom came in with real watermelons later. heh so nice of her. and them. thanks for the hospitality! (though u'll likely never come here.) on the way back to the MRT we meandered abit..... =) heheh. but my sense of direction is improving liao, not bad. i could tell which way the MRT was though we came out onto a different road. talked more nonsense on the way back, waited for 156 at the bus interchange with nana and talked even more nonsense. haha after that was a long, enjoyable bus ride with aircon and sleepy songs back to SJI there and a transfer to 960 back to bukit panjang. fun fun day. nothing's going to spoil my bubble of happiness. not even my father who scolded me for "mine and my sister's hogging of the com". im sure lar im sure u scold me and leave her alone -.- just because i want to finish my post before i check your soccernet scores for u. whateverz. yup had my fill of fun for this week..... tmr will be work day. since friday was already a lazy day this sunday will be productive =) i hope. since people have been saying that i "jump around a lot"...... i'll declare my final stand on some issues here.
1) woo han and xin yun are just good friends. (though things may change later) 2) same with sabby and eugene. 3) sabby is a girl =/ oh yes and: 4) wen hao and pj ah... *ahem ahem* no comment. [edit] pj says it's divine friendship. i'm not so sure about that. [/edit] okay? okay. in other news, miss wong forgot my andoh cds AGAIN >< rgghh. another week of waiting. today was some bomb day. got home at around 11.... but it was fun nonetheless. ponned civics (election speeches) with woo han to do work in the library. Did weights for PE, then slacked around for 2 hours during lunch and chinese. my family expanded today =) my sister got a son. and the son has a daughter. so now i'm a granduncle oO yup.
after changing up i took a 15-min nap in LT1. it's always empty from 12-1 on tuesday and the aircon's always nice and cold ^^ econs after that was waste time as usual. then it was GP where we spent a productive hour doing work (for once) and then maths, where we were entertained by mr su. he goes insanely fast. and the similarities between him and mervin are quickly becoming apparent. long-lost brothers? hmm. stayed in school for a long while afterwards. played 3 games of bridge before deciding to settle down and do work =) see, i'm so guai. worked all the way from 4 to 6.30 thereabouts with pj, sabby and woo han (vaish joined us at 5). then went off to meet adam and huang lu for a jamming session. lol what happened next was insanely funny. we were walking through RI campus on the way to j8 mrt, passing through the atrium, when i noticed that there were empty buffet trays on the tables. went to see if there was anything to kope, and as luck would have it, there were some curry puffs (the finger ones) left. i koped one and turned to leave, but was busted by rosie smith. lol. tried to swallow the evidence but her eyesight was too damn good. anyway she spent a good 1 min or so scolding (scolding? nahh) me while i struggled to keep a straight face. something about how i'm "setting a bad example for the sec1s" and about how i "come back as a senior to steal food" XD hilarious. yar of course she didn't mean it. she could tell i was totally laughing in front of her and she didn't say anything. the only marvel is that SHE kept a straight face throughout the whole thing. heh it's great to see her again. went to toa payoh and jammed all the way til 9+ with jia hua joining us at around 8. we're nowhere near ready for RR concert. oh wells it's going to be a flop anyway. i gotta practice! but like er when -.- so in conclusion, i'm BOMB tired. it's 2 am and the rain is falling....... er wait it isn't. anyway the point is it's late. and i'm blogging. and i should stop now. before this post gets incoherent quiet day. quiet, quiet, quiet day. just me and my music. this is the life
but there's GP group meeting later. dammit surprise, i can still walk. i can run even. but i can't climb stairs. lolz
today was quite fun. went with my family to marina square to eat dim sum... and around 10.30 liddat i ran into my OG -.- æįžå lol. they were on their way to kbox to sing. i didn't join them. after breakfast we went around shopping.... by "we" i mean my sisters and mom. yup so my father and i were bored, and i was feeling funky, so i put a orchid in my hair and went around dancing as i walked. don't give me that look. it was 11 am. there wasn't anyone there. the pic's in my father's phone. ask for it sometime =) around noon or so we left and went to funan to drink coffee. then we wandered around funan for awhile. i went upstairs and played tradewinds 2. and we saw the xbox 360....... looks good. didn't get to try it though. eventually we got bored and went to bras basah to buy comics... my father went to the comics shop while i went to swee lee to check out the sticks and cymbals =) gah sabian cymbals are still too cool. they sound AMAZINGLY good. there was this funky ride that gave a tone that was neither here nor there =/ was laughing when i heard it. lol nvm non-percs won't get it. got back home at 5+ and promptly fell asleep..... now im awake doing GP with my group. i hate michelle ooi. now let's hope she doesn't come here. but then who cares if she does? i doubt she's tech-savvy enough to know what a "blog" is anyway. oh well. chill. Raffles Trail just over... we lost. oh well. but it was quite fun la all the same. except that tmr, when i get up, i probably won't be able to move =S nvm. monday recovery day. i'll see if i can my hands on some pics and post them up here.
band elections starting soon.... i'm going for section leader. wish me luck =) but before that we have 4 projects to complete. im on the CIP team with yinrui, benny, melvyn and jian ye. we're thinking of having small bands go to old folks' homes to perform for them. we'll see if the logistics work out. and class is getting interesting as well! woo han and xin yun ah...... wonder what they're up to =) class movie on friday, they went to watch failure to launch (yeah, i was -.- when i heard it too). for some reason, the person who at first couldn't make it because of judo decided that she was injured, and after she came, suddenly the other person who "didn't feel like going" appeared too. hmms wonder why ah =) such sweet couples. ah well. i lead a sad life. today was another nothing day. rj currently undergoing beautification.... wah see, even buildings also need to look beautiful. damn stupid la. instead of spending so much money repairing and repainting and touching up, why not spend money to build a good and sturdy school to start with -.- sheesh.
GP application question in the morning. i just crapped something up. realised that i have autowriting abilities =) then it was chem prac, which was ok, and after that phys tutorial, which was caoji sian cos i already did all the questions we went through. =/ next time don't do in advance liao. so boring. after school we hung out at lt4 again. the usual gang played bridge while sabby and pj stood at the side being bored. after that we played hide and seek again, then a bit of monkey. i dunno what happened next cos i went to j8 to buy flowers with the band ppl. didn't go for concert but still bought flowers for yinrui lol. sunflower bouquet with a lot of green in it. hope u like it =) got caught in the rain while walking to electone lesson... quite fun. haven't walked in the rain for ages. after that sat in the aircon for 1 hr, dried my shirt (which was soaked through) and still didn't get sick! not bad yeah =) and ayura still rocks. for anyone who's curious or who's just totally sian of me gushing about the song, ask for it when i get it. which will be around saturday. stupid miss wong forgot to bring it today >< ah well. this month some bomb. so many birthdays! let's see there's zhu feng adriel wan xian gerard mr lai jerald. die la how to have enough money. there goes jian wei's drumset fund. of coincidences and the power of thought.
the power of the human mind is astounding. have u ever realised that, if you want something very badly, and you concentrate hard and picture the thing in your mind, you'll run across it within the next 24 hrs? works for people, objects or even some obscure goal u have in mind. try it. coincidences are rare. just yesterday the 6F people were talking about that old joke, "i have 2 words to tell you: i love you" "that's 3 words" "because you and i are one". then today somehow it appears on whatareyouwaiting4. i remember some time ago (make that a long time ago) when i really, really wanted to see someone. i ended up bumping into her somewhere. and people who miraculously recover from incurable diseases, and people who survive for far longer than medically possible. it is just a lack of full medical understanding of these peoples' situations, or is it something else entirely? i choose to think that it's human will that actually carries them through. optimism, positive thinking, faith in yourself, confidence, whatever. it all boils down to the power of thought. right now i'm thinking about how much time i've just wasted writing this. when i could be doing 1001 other things. =/ just had class outing today. quite funny actually cos we couldn't decide on what to do in the afternoon. morning was pool all the way, with 5 ppl initially and more coming at various times. at 2+ we went for lunch at carl's junior. $10 omg. but the burger's damn big la. gave cherie the fries cos they were too sian.
then we spent time standing outside crocs (XD) talking nonsense and trying to decide what to do. eventually we went to pool again. i think i've improved somewhat =) so not too bad. shijun is SOME PRO. and woo han kept trying for ambitious slots and kena suanned by shijun. "hit it in the middle la, then both will go in (into 2 different holes)". lolx damn funny. but it's an inside joke la nvm. vaish and cherie acting bimbo again =/ must get a pic of them doing "world peace" sometime. and eugene showed up dressed as a lobster lolx. kayaking sounds fun. went home with pj and sabby around 7. can't find a decent pic of the affair. sadded. refer to mervin's blog. there's GP work to do. and my utopian kingdom is beckoning. avian freak lolz. crap utopia is addictive >.< i feel like logging in to check now but i now there's no point, cos i don't log in for some time i'll get extra money. a creative way of keeping the servers free, and in this case it actually works well. oh well. must tahan then. hmms today was a day of small successes... band was kinda a waste of time. oh but i got to see the new timpanis =) super nice la. i change my mind about liking the old timpanis better liao. yup. jeff, yiheng and i pwned benny, lester and chang yuan at soccer. then we went out for dota and jeff and i pwned yiheng and chang yuan again =)
april fool's today. pranks all over the place. eugene and i pranked sabby (separately), i pranked pj, woo han pranked xin yun and got owned, our raffles trail group pranked eugene, and then sabby and pj pranked eugene. oh and pj just pranked angie too. talk to each one for specific details cos im lazy to type out extract from convo with pj God's Gift says: u noe woo han sms me i love u from wen hao's phone God's Gift says: hee hee God's Gift says: i was very happy when i saw it God's Gift says: until i saw the part where he said woo han sent it God's Gift says: then i was so sad God's Gift says: this is called divine love liao !!!!! and i got a major ego trip today. during raffles trail briefing there was this row of (3) girls sitting in front of us. suddenly for no reason at all the girl in the middle passed us this note:  guess who the "guy behind the girl on my left" is? XD yin rui fell sick. =( get well soon k? |
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